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For most of my adult life, I was the person who kept everyone else’s schedule running. Doctor appointments, school pickups, social events, work commitments. I was the keeper of all of it. And somewhere in there, I completely forgot to keep track of myself.
Here’s the thing nobody tells you: when you don’t make space for yourself, you don’t magically find it. It disappears. And then you wake up one day realizing you can’t remember the last time you did something just because you wanted to.
This summer, I’m doing something different. I’m adding myself to the calendar.
What “Putting Yourself on the Calendar” Actually Means
It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It’s not about spa weekends or big vacations (though I’m not saying no to those either).
It means scheduling at least one thing each week, or even each month, that exists solely for you. A solo walk somewhere you’ve been wanting to go. An afternoon at a coffee shop with a book. A slow Saturday morning where you don’t check your phone until noon. A day trip to somewhere beautiful, by yourself or with a girlfriend, just because.
The key word is scheduled. On the calendar. Treated like a real commitment. Because if it’s not on the calendar, it will get filled in by something else. Guaranteed.
What I’m Actually Scheduling This Summer
Now that my daughter is grown and starting her own chapter, I have more freedom than I’ve had in years. That’s strange to say out loud, but it’s true. And instead of filling that space immediately with productivity and obligations, I’m trying, really trying, to let some of it be mine.
For me this summer, that looks like:
- One solo morning every two weeks to just explore somewhere new
- A real afternoon off with a friend, no agenda, no time limit
- One movie night at home where I pick the movie and just let myself be
Simple things. But they have to be written down, or they won’t happen.
A Little Tool That Helps
I’ve started keeping a small self-care journal, not for logging symptoms or tracking habits, but just for noting the things I want to do for me. Places I want to go. Things I want to try. Books I want to read. Little luxuries I want to experience.
This self-care journal, something like this, where there’s actual space to think about your own wants, has been surprisingly powerful. We spend so much time planning everyone else’s joy. Writing down your own is a radical act.
I also put together a little at-home spa basket, because sometimes self-care is just locking the bathroom door for an hour. This pink Himalayan salt body scrub is the kind of thing I wish someone had bought me years ago, and I finally just bought it for myself.
🔗 This is the one I finally bought myself →
And yes, a really good candle. This one: I light it when it’s my time. It’s become a signal to my brain that this hour is mine.
🔗 Light this when it’s your time →
Give Yourself Permission
I know this sounds obvious. Of course you should take time for yourself. But if you’re anything like me, you’ve spent so many years putting yourself last that it actually feels uncomfortable to do otherwise.
You’re allowed to take up space on your own calendar. You’re allowed to be a priority in your own life. This chapter, whether you’re 42 or 52 or somewhere in between, is one of the best ones if you’ll let it be.
Put yourself on the calendar this summer. Start with one thing. See how it feels.
Next in the series: How I’m Budgeting for Summer (So I Can Actually Enjoy It) →
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